Goodbye Daddy
by EmeraldJewelSparkle
Summary: What happens when your father is to blame for the death of your only sibling? What if your childhood was torn apart by the way he chose to live his life? One shot from Fawn Tragers side of the story.


A/N: I really love the way Tig is such a complex individual. There are so many more things I wonder about him and this short little one shot was just something that popped into my mind when I was watching the show. I hope you like it, if you do let me know. Thanks for reading. All glory for the SOA characters goes to Kurt Sutter and his fabulous writing team.

* * *

Broken – Seether

* * *

"Tig, come here sweetheart I need to talk to you."

Gemma crossed the lot early that Monday morning looking for her Tigger. She knew it was bad, knew what she held in her hands was going to break her beloved friends heart but she had to give it to him.

When Fawn had knocked on her door late the previous night Gemma had been surprised to see Tigs only surviving child. The girl had never even come back for Dawns memorial and it had been years since she had last set foot in Charming. So opening the door to find her there crying, holding an envelope addressed to her father, she knew whatever was inside was going to devastate him.

* * *

A feeling of impending doom clouded Gemma's mind as she sat at her kitchen table. The anguish on Fawn's face when she had handed the letter over kept flashing through her mind as she looked at the beautiful way in which Tig's name had been written.

He had been through so much lately, it wouldn't be right to just hand the letter to him. She couldn't just blindside him. Turning the kettle on she held the envelope over the steam till the seal slowly came apart. It was wrong but she wanted to protect Tig like he had protected her for all of these years. By the time she folded the letter back up and resealed it in its envelope, tears streaked her face. She had been right; Tig was going to be devastated.

* * *

Following Gemma into the garage office Tig noticed the sad look on her face.

"What's up Gem?"

Patting the lounge seat next to her she looked up into those tortured blue eyes.

"Come sit with me for a minute darlin, I've got something you need to read."

* * *

Dear Daddy,

I'm leaving you this letter because after Dawns death I don't think I can ever look at you again. I know you love me, loved Dawn but your love is why she died. Her end was barbaric, inhumane; nobody deserves to die like that. When Colleen took us away from you I hated her for a long time. She was never the most stable of mothers but she tried her hardest. It wasn't until I became an adult that I really understood why she had left.

Daddy you were our world, treated us like Princesses. But there were too many times that club stuff overlapped into our home life. We seen too many things and it forced us to lose our innocence. You're the reason why I'm so fuckin screwed up inside, why I can't trust anyone, why I hold everyone at arm's length and why when the world sleeps I cannot. Let me be. Let me find my own path. You can't help me with that. You will never hold the place in my heart that you want... because, after everything I've been through I just don't have it in me to love you anymore. I'm sorry, I truly am but you failed me.

Colleen knew we weren't safe and she eventually... reluctantly, pulled us out of there. I know now what she did was the right thing but watching her heart break after we left you brought me more pain than you'll ever know.

You chose your life, chose to become a Son and live the way you do but we were born into that hostile world. We did not ask for it and now look at what has happened. You cannot make this right and I will never forgive you. Let me go, it's all I ask. If there is one thing in this life that you could do to make me happy it would be that. No phone calls, no messages, no contact. That may be hard for you but it is the only thing that will ever ease my pain, it is the only way I don't have to think about what those monsters did to my poor sister.

I do remember the good times Daddy, times when I laid in your lap for hours watching cartoons, playing with Missy in the backyard while you and Koz cooked BBQ's and the rides on the back of your Dyna. There are so many memories of those good times but the darkness overshadows them, pushes them to the recesses of my mind and leaves only bitterness and hate behind. I often dreamt I could just fly away from all of the turmoil but I have to live in the real world.

Please just let me go, it should have happened years ago. I never fit in to the life you lead and for most of my childhood I lived inside my head because it was the only place that I was safe. No manipulation, no stress, no violence, no death. In my head I got to have the childhood that was so cruelly snatched away from me. In there I did not have to look after other people's fragile egos, be careful who I was around, be careful of what I said, I did not have to worry about who was in my house.

This is not the ungrateful whininess of a bratty child but the musings of an adult that has finally found peace, found some semblance of happiness in this messed up world. I am who I am today because of me. I got myself here and for the first time in my life I am starting to feel like I belong in my own skin. My life will never be perfect but I'm content with that.

So if you ever cared for me, if you ever held me in your arms and looked at me with love please just let me go. I cannot save you, but if you give me this gift you can save me. I will never forget that you gave me life but now you have to let me go.

Fawn

* * *

Tears crept down his weathered face as the realisation hit him. Fawn is gone; his only surviving baby is gone.

"Shhh darlin, it's gonna be alright." Murmured Gemma.

Wiping the tears with the back of his hand he shook his head and looked at her sadly.

"Na Gem, it's not... not this time... Things will never be the same again..."


End file.
